Learning to Dialogue LO10034

Michel, Christopher J (michec@uh2297p01.daytonoh.ncr.com)
Wed, 18 Sep 1996 09:34:00 EDT

In LO10027, David Wilkinson comments:

>FWIT, active listening is an essential element of dialogue. Another
>essential element is "suspension" - the act of consciously chosing whether
>to set aside one's own reactions, thoughts, and feelings as part of the
>dialogue. Without this choice, we always act from an ego-centric view in
>the conversation.
>When we suspend, we have the choice to see from an allo-centric view (from
>the eyes of another person) or from a macro-centric view (from above, or
>in the balcony looking down).
>A thought, does suspension allow us to actively see as well as actively

I have experienced an interesting dynamic when attempting to engage in
dialogue. The other participating party (I have often experienced this in
dialogue with my wife) is expecting immediate feedback to a question which
I KNOW any response would be a reaction. Participants need to understand
that periodic silence does not mean that they are being ignored, but
instead that the active listening has engaged the suspension identified as
an essential element by David.

Which raises a question for me, how do we help those participating in the
dialogue grasp these subtleties?


Chris Michel Business Systems Analyst NCR Corporation chris.michel@daytonoh.ncr.com

Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>