Michel, Christopher J wrote:
> Which raises a question for me, how do we help those participating in the
> dialogue grasp these subtleties?
At IntegriVu we focused on clarifying expectations. Part of that is
explaining what we're going to do, so our behavior is understood before it
occurs. Another way of saying this, is we need to make clear our reasoning
as we communicate.
I see no problem in saying, "I've suspended my assumptions, and I'm not
sure how I feel or how I want to respond. Give me a moment (maybe
longer)."
My wife and I set apart an hour or two every week for "team talk." During
this time we review the families activities during the last week, discuss
what we learned, review our finances to make sure we're on budget, etc. We
also take the time to review argumentative conversations, and explore why
our conversation turned into an argument. We use the Left-Hand column
exercise, and we walk each other up our Ladder of Inference.
It has made a significant difference in how we relate to one another. At
first, however, we would get anxious when the dialogue would become choppy
-- a result of our thinking and reflecting before speaking. So I
understand the concern. Time, commitment, and perserverance solved the
problem for me.
--Ben Compton bcompton@geocities.com
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>