A headhunter called today. Thanks goodness I wasn't able to get to the phone! I don't know what I would've said. When I listened to the message I realized there are dozens of agencies that have tickler notes in their files saying I'll be back on the market in August. Well, here it is August so they're calling with "lots of opportunities". Maybe I'll call back tomorrow just to be civilized and polite, but I'm no closer to renewal of spirit than I was 18 months ago.

I tried to picture myself donning a suit and trudging to an office to write about WINDOWS applications or worse yet to manage people writing about Windows applications. Never mind managing managers and apologizing to customers or negotiating every breath with dozens of men. Of course it looks bleaker because it's 90+ degrees with ultrahumidity (200%? 300%?) so a suit would be tantamount to a suicide pact. And I didn't get much sleep last night after my driving marathon from the Gulf of Maine to Narraganset Bay and points in between. It's hard to imagine working on this little sleep. On the other hand I did it for 5 1/2 years at BT. Less sleep than this sometimes. and with a suit on (including the dreaded pantyhose) in summer to boot. Not to mention the time zones...

I hear myself saying "I ain't ready". I may never be ready until a job turns up on the beach, or someplace else where I can go barefoot...