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New things on the ever-growing, all-consuming,
Aunt-Janet-must-really-not-have-enough-to-do web site:
Completely revamped
Who Am I? Why Am I Here?
I've been meaning to upgrade the "who am i"
section of this site for a long time, but I was stuck on
trying to create graphic images to convey the various
sections. I tried several different images, both graphics
and photos but none of them conveyed what I wanted. How do
you give autobiographical info without words? Now that I'm
temporarily over my belief that I will be judged obsolete if
I use text, it's much easier to just do a nice page layout.
I may never become graphically literate, but then again I'm
not looking for a job designing logos or icons. I'm still
very self-conscious about my lack of ability in this area.
Oddly, I'm very visual. I respond to visual cues,
discriminate patterns, identify birds (I do this 99%
visually - I'm really bad on the songs so far), take better
than average vacation photos. Some people, even the odd
visitor to this site, tell me they really like my photos.
The thing is, I see things rather than thinking about them.
For example, in the image of the
gulls at Turner Reservoir,
my eye registered the pattern of the snow on the rock
echoing the colors of the gulls' plumage before my brain
did. I did not think it through in concrete terms. I saw it,
shot it, loved the result. I don't know how I did it. I just
did.
So, anyway, despite my inability to come up with a
graphical representation of my autobiography or my resume, I
redid the Who Am I? Why Am I
Here? page. Wasted much of the afternoon on it, but
there it is.
New things on my mind:
thing 1
Compaq's
acquisition of Digital Equipment Corporation
When I heard this on the radio yesterday
morning, I thought I must be dreaming. As of yesterday,
every company I have ever worked for has now been acquired
by/merged with another company - and the new ones all begin
with the letter C:
Boston Technology by Comverse
MASSCOMP by Concurrent
Digital by Compaq
Even my high school (Our Lady Help of Christians) merged
with its arch rival (St. Patrick's).
I feel like my past is disappearing out from under me.
Where do I say I worked? Went to school? Lived? No, wait,
the City of Newton, Massachusetts still exists and hasn't
been renamed or merged with another city yet. And
Massachusetts will never merge with New York - perish the
thought - even after the entire population has left here for
California.
But who am I when my past has been sold?
thing 2
"I hate calling strangers on the phone. I get uneasy even
just calling friends on the phone. I have no idea why, but
it makes me way tense."
from
yesterday's entry in Ceej's Battered Black Book
I have this problem too. It used to be much
worse. I had to telephone strangers a lot in my various jobs
and I used to get anxious before every call. As a manager
staffing my department, the thing I hated most was doing the
phone interviews of candidates. I'm the one with the power
to say yay or nay to bringing the person in for an interview
and yet I'm the one who's nervous. Go figure.
Like I said, I got better at it. I had no choice. And
making work calls on behalf of my employer was easier than
making calls on my own behalf. At least I could say: "This
is Janet Egan from Cosmodemonic Telecomm" as opposed to
"Janet Egan, nobody in particular but you should hire me."
Anyway, since I quit work, the telephone anxiety has started
to get worse again. I always feel like I'm interrupting
someone, or I'm sounding stupid (oh, I know, I am
stupid - but aside from that :-)).
For me, this anxiety even extends to calling people I
know. All that work I did today on my web site, and all the
catching up on other people's journals I did this afternoon?
Ways of putting off calling Zsolt on the phone. For
Chrissake, I've changed this guy's wet sock on Mt. Dairoku
and I'm nervous about calling him on the phone? It's not
just him. I'm putting off other calls too. Even one to
register for a seminar on gulls for this coming Saturday.
What are the odds it'll be full by the time I quit
procrastinating and call? I haven't been this shy/anxious in
a long time.
thing 3
Scott's
homage to his snow brush
I never appreciated my snow brush until I was
on business trip and Avis failed to supply one with the
rental car. It's one of those little things that make it
possible to live in this climatic zone.
Old things on my mind:
When I was having coffee with Tom this
afternoon, we revisited the subject of Good Will
Hunting, which we had talked about yesterday. One of the
things I liked best about the movie, its unsentimental
treatment of socio-economic class, also brought up issues
for me. I grew up working class. I've felt like an alien in
the middle class ever since.
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