Spirited Debate on LO LO6735

Dr Ilfryn Price (101701.3454@compuserve.com)
Tue, 16 Apr 1996 15:51:14 -0400

Replying to LO6683 --


>The punch line is that most people are able to communicate *only* in
their prefered style and that communication between peole using mixed
styles is ineffective. Therefore, one can become more effective in the
world by learning to vary personal style to match the other party.

Right on. I had a similar leaqrning experience 5 years ago at the hands/
head voice etc of Dick McCann [In writing this message I find I've loaned
his book out and forgotten who to or the title]. His Margerison McCann
Index is a sort of plain language Myers Briggs [the correlation is not
perfect but the difference is normally not important]. He makes the point
that not only does the pacing etc of conversations that we each respond to
vary but so too do even the preferred channels of information exchange.
Some [if I remember right ISTJs in MB speak] use movement in the
environment and the sound of their own voice to process information.
Others are reached through their listening and sensitivity to feelings.
Some [like me for anyone who wants to influence me] respond to pictures
created in our own heads and movement in the external world. Others
respond to the detail they see/ read in the external world and the rhythm
in their heads. etc. [Don't make typos if you want them to read you

A. I don't know if there is a real science behind this but I have found it
works in the world.

B. I don't know if there is interest. If there is and we can handle
logistics/ copyright I guess a wider dissemination could be arranged. I
have used this stuff to offer a 24 hour facilitation course and am happy
to share it if it doesn't get me sued.

[Host's Note: We have a policy of respecting copyright here on the LO
list. I will not knowingly distribute copyrighted materials without
permission. ...Rick]

C. I sense it shows up in the way threads develop on this list and who
responds to who etc.

>I try to match my style to the other person. Ditto in small groups, taking
a consensus style, watching for any excluded minority.

Ditto, and if some-one doesn't do it with ethical riders, like watching
for excluded minorities can shehe live with their conscience?

> But, in a large group, I don't know how to apply what I've described

Bullshit [linguistic term considered acceptable in Australia and
introduction to thread on labguage and culture for anyone offended]

>My answer in large groups (like this) is to speak from the heart and
speak as clearly as possible.

You said it. Thanks Rick.

If I can build on it I have found that disciplining myself to wait 24
hours, read my response again, edit, then press the send key, often works.
The medium we do this on facilitates typing [and thinking] from the hip.


If Price
The Harrow Partnership
Pewley Fort Guildford UK


Dr Ilfryn Price <101701.3454@compuserve.com>

Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>