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April 25, 1998
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This day makes no sense. Seriously. It makes no sense. A predicted "shower" this morning turned into a raging storm. It didn't last long but it weren't no shower I'll tell ya. I was sitting have coffee with Tom at Starbucks when it blew through and we could see the dark clouds move down from the north getting closer and closer and the rain pelting down and the winds swirling around. It was over before my parking meter ran out. Tree limbs were down on Elm Street and the power was off at my house. It started to clear up so I headed over to Priscilla's to meet the walking buddies for our Saturday afternoon walk. When I got there - a couple minutes late - only Priscilla was there. She had just left me a phone message to tell me Joan-east was going to be late and Rita wasn't coming. Twenty minutes later Joan-east arrived. We walked for half an hour. It started to rain again. But that isn't the bizarre part. How to write about this without compromising other people's privacy? I'll give it a try because it affected me more deeply than I would have anticipated. A friend of a friend committed suicide this week. I and my friends were afraid our friend, who had attempted suicide before, would be pushed over the edge by this. We went to her place to hang out with her until her husband got home. Note: the dead woman had the same name as me. Friend's husband comes home. She greets him at the door with "Janet died." He assumes it's me. He comes upstairs and there I am in the living room - clearly not dead. He looks like he's seen a ghost. Umm, like, my car is in his parking spot - so how did it get there unless I'd just died in his living room moments ago. We all had a good laugh - sort of a black humor thing. Turns out my friend and the dead woman had actually discussed comparative suicide methods at some point last year. This made me even more worried about my friend. I kept thinking about this in the car all the way to South Station to pick up Nancy. I was in no mood for a fun Saturday night out. All I wanted to do was make the anxiety in the pit of my stomach go away. Fortunately, Nancy is a good listener and was really understanding of the fact that I might be upset and worried. It took me a long time to unwind. |
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