HomeJuly 10, 1997
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So, about a month ago I finally called an orthopedist to make an appointment to decode the mysterious knee thing. I was a little nonplused when they asked me "what's wrong with your knee?" "Umm, I don't know. That's why I called you." Anyway, the soonest they could fit me into their busy schedule was today, July 10. A long wait. In the mean time, I've been worrying that I'll have to spend the entire Antarctica fund on knee surgery or I'll be laid up for weeks alone in my hovel with no one to get my breakfast for me not to mention not having a remote for the tv and not having cable anyway the last time i was laid up with the infamous shredded ankle (strain or sprain does not do justice to the severity and permanence of the injury) i watched the winter Olympics Alberto Tomba was trying to romance Katarina Witt - was that 1988?- I wouldn't mind romancing Katarina Witt but Nancy would be jealous. Arbitrary division into paragraphs here. I simply have to buy a new tv with a remote and get cable hooked up in case I ever do have to have knee surgery. Why am I thinking about this? I'm not having knee surgery and I don't even like tv most of the time. Wilbur wishes I would watch more tv because he can curl up on my lap when I'm in the recliner and I stay put. He loves the World Series for that reason - the only reason I have a tv at all is the World Series - I bought this one to watch the world series in like 1984 or something (Padres vs. Tigers I think). I watched some of the ill-fated 1986 series with my friends Bonnie and Kevin and the fateful game 6 alone here in my hovel no wonder i don't like to watch tv no really i watched the 1975 series on a teensy black and white tv on the bedroom floor of my tiny apartment in Hudson with a bottle of wine and a bag of potato chips now that was a series to watch at least the Red Sox lost respectably not like '86 when they had the champagne ready in game 6 Bill Buckner lived in Andover then and went to Priscilla's church I don't know how forgiving the people in church are... But I hate tv and yet all i can conceive of to do while laid up is watch tv why? 'cause it's hard to hold a book with scrivener's palsy and besides that with Wilbur stretched from lap to chest i have to hold the book to close to my face to read... but I'm not going to have knee surgery because surgery won't help. I can't have total knee replacement until i'm in my sixties and I'm only 46.But I'm getting ahead of myself here. The mysterious knee thing is osteoarthritis. The knee is degenerating from wear and tear. No big deal I guess as things go. It just hurts a way wicked lot. So the orthopod prescribed an NSAID different from the one I've been taking, weight loss, and swimming or riding an exercise bike. No I am not bringing that awful broken rusty combination exercise bike/rowing machine back in my house. I will take it to the dumpster just as soon as I figure out how to take it apart and disguise it as regular trash... Shit, does that mean I've gotta clutter up my house with another exercise bike.Woe is me. I hope no incompetent decorators or book phobic/homophobic painters have occasion to come into my house and see such an ugly but useful clutter thing I mean oh man this takes up more space than a goddamned electric jar opener and is way uglier and the damned decorator and painter wanted the jar opener removed not to mention they wanted me to hide the stool I used to reach the cabinets inside a cabinet and get it out every time I needed it. They were clue less about real life as a very short person with scrivener's palsy ... imagine what they'd think about arthritis... why on earth do I care what people who were in my house 2 years ago think? Damned if I know... And I haven't even begun to consider the implications of weight loss. Gee, that means dieting and I have a thing or three to say about dieting that might offend some people and cause controversy. So, off to fill the prescription, contemplate ways to lose weight without dieting , and hide an exercise bike in my house.
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Gee whiz I wonder if this entry is getting too long for Fetch to upload or whether Netscape is going to spew raw html at me for no reason again... I hate these stupid computers...no it's the software I hate. Nobody designs software anymore, it just happens. Nobody debugs, or tests, they just ship it. Code it up, see if it compiles, ship it. Oh, you wanted the version that works? That'll be a $200 upgrade available in the year 2001... |