John,
You said, "Your response to Ben on this thread was great food for thought for
me. Being an emotional person myself, often to my own detriment, I thought back
to the foundations or causes of my emotional expressions, or at least as I
understand them. I find that most are grounded in fear of one kind or another,
learned over time until they have become habitual."
Don't forget the emotional expressions that are grounded in something else. For
example, when you say my response was food for thought for you, that's one of
the greatest compliments you can pay me, and I feel appreciated. That's an
emotional expression too, grounded in something much more wonderful than fear.
So my guess is that not all of your emotional expressions are based in fear. Is
that right?
You wrote, "This sets up for me a filter which "sees" situations in some
pre-existing light (sometimes a bit dim). Through these shadows, decisions are
almost spontaneous, depending upon the nature of the current circumstances."
I like the way you said that.
Margaret Wheatley and Myron Kellner-Rogers, in their new book "A Simpler Way,"
talk about some research done by biologists Humberto Maturana and Francisco
Varela. They found that most of what we "perceive" comes from inside us. When
we look at a tree, at least 80 percent of the information our brain works with
to create a perception is information already in the brain.
If that's true, then my emotional responses are probably coming much more from
what's going on inside me than from what's going on around me. I've seen that
in a few situations this year where I've been in the grip of some uncomfortable
emotion. For some reason (this happened spontaneously the first time) I started
examining my inner reaction instead of the situation I was reacting to. In each
case, I learned a lot about myself. I became aware of some of my filters. Some
of what I saw in myself wasn't pretty, and that realization helped me to change
_myself_ so that I'm less likely to create those situations in the future. This
reaction, looking inward instead of outward when I'm feeling some crisis, is
something I want to practice more.
Dale
--Dale H. Emery | 27 Tall Pine Road Consultant | Berwick, ME 03901 Relationship and Communication | (207) 698-1650 For Successful Organizations | 72704.1550@compuserve.com
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