At 12:24 PM 7/22/96 -0700, you wrote:
>From: joris <joris@mail2.tornado.be>
>
>One of the theme's I have always been very interested in may be stated
>very simply : "Why do people not behave the they want to? " We find
>references to this problem in all different fields of interest and
>behaviour. One finds it in religious contexts : St. Pauls : "Why do I do
>the things I do not want to do, and do not do the things I do want to
>do?". Organizational behaviour is also full of instances where there is a
>difference between what one says and what we do (e.g. Argyris treats this
>in his books; in other contexts it is said that managers *should* "walk as
>they talk", which means that they nor mally do not do it?). Everyday
>'wisdom' (is it?) "knows" that New Year Day's good intentions do not last
>long, etc...
>
>This problem has been stated in different ways already during the
>discussions on "values and behaviour" in this group. What strikes me is
>that the following question is never being asked : "How does it come?"
>that behavior differs from what one wants (=values)? ( Or it may be that I
>have overlooked that part of the discussion).
>
>I have no answers, and I think that here we have a very important field to
>learn about : why do we human beings do the other thing than the one we
>want to do? In my eyes, saying that this is "caused by a lack of
>motivation" is not an answer. Saying that is nothing more than saying
>that one does not "really" want it. My question concerns things that we
>"really want" to do, but still do not do. I may feel really very much
>motivated to stick to the diet which must make a much lighter person out
>of me, and still... You may feel very motivated not to quarrel with your
>kids again, and still...
>
>Joris Voet
In responding to this incisive question on behavior, let me start with a
quote:
"Our personal philosophy comes from what we know and from the process of
how we came to know all that we currently know. Throughout our lives we
receive input from a multitude of sources. What we know comes from school,
friends, associates, media influences, home, the streets; it comes from
books and the process of reading; and it comes from, listening and
observing. The sources of knowledge and information that have contributed
to the formation of our current philosophy are virtually unlimited.
"We all have our own ideas about the things that affect our lives based on
the information we have gathered over the years. Each of us has a
personal view about goverment, education, the economy, our employer and a
howt of other issues. What we think about these issues adds to our
emerging philosophy and causes us to reach certain conclusions about life
and how it operates. These conclusions then lead us to make specific
value judgements which determine how we will act on any given day and in
any given circumstance. We have all made and will continue to make
decisions based upon what we think is valuable."
- Jim Rohn, "The Five major Pieces to the Life Puzzle", P. 17 & 18.
If this statement is taken to be accurate, then we need to determine how
to alter the information and experiences that a person has. Let me quote
Phuoc-Chau Nguyen from his post last week;
"Change must be from within, and only then, that change will be PERMANENT,
and become part of the culture. External forces can only bring TEMPORARY
changes, those changes will disappear the moment the force is no longer in
place. The only way that external sources can help, is NOT BY
INTERVENTION, but by providing support to the people."
Chau stated this in the context of a cultural/society change, but I
believe that it applies to the individual as well. Thus what I have found
true in my own life is that to do that which I want to do, I must become a
student of what I am and what it is I want to be. Once I understand my
values, as portrayed by my actions, and then evaluate where I want to be,
I can determine a plan of how to get there. IMHO if a person does not
specifically strive to do the correct thing, then there are forces within
society that attempt to influence a persons behavior towards the wants of
those who create the force. Basically, other people will influence you
according to their wants/desires.
Thus, let me outline how I overcome (it is a continual ongoing effort,
don't think that I have arrived) the inertia of life's influences to
accomplish that what I believe to be of value.
1. Write down personal values and rank them in an order of priority.
2. Write out goals including everything you want to be, do and have.
Measure each goal against the values stated in #1. In my case there was
some reordering of values and eleminating some goals.
3. Write out the reasons why each goal should be achieved. Some goals will
have more whys than others. Because of the why, some goals will need to be
accomplished before others. Some goals will not have sufficient whys to
pursue, some will then be in conflict with the values written in #1.
4. Break the goals down to a daily list of things to do. Make sure that
you give priority to the things that are of greatest value. Write out this
list the night before, review it in the morning and frequently during the
day. Review each evening how you did just before you set the goals for the
next day.
This process, focuses the input into one's life and refines a person's
actions according to their written values. This creates a feedback loop
that reinforces successful accomplishment of one's goals. Success being
defined as: "The realization of your own personal goals."
Archie Kregear
-----------------------------------------------------------
Archie Kregear
kregear@lims.lockheed.com
"We can have more than we've got because we can become more than we are."
-Jim Rohn
-----------------------------------------------------------
--Archie Kregear <kregear@lims.lockheed.com>
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>