Re: Not-doing LO1134

Wed, 10 May 1995 10:07:16 -0500

Replying to LO1061 --

reply to Dave Birren <<<<not-doing>>>>L01061
<<<choice - to preserve reputation>>>>
>>>decides to do nothing>>>>let people make their own judgements>>>
<<<proactive stance is....way of imposing...individual's desires

Well...hmm....let's see how we can work this out. The "doing" referred to
as "not doing" is a specific action that is not done. That does not mean
that nothing is not done. The doing is the something that helps decide
not to do another something. So?

Further, I think Dick and I agree on this because we have talked about
this stuff a lot and address is in our book CONNECTIONS....(stay tuned).
It seems to me that "let people make their own judgements" pre-supposes
some notion that we really do have control over others judgements. It is
our own sense of influence that conjurs up the notion that there is a
certin kind of impact on others.

So, the not-doing a specific something is still doing something....even if
it is not the specific something. And, the choice to not give in, as it
were, to the fantasy of being vindicated by setting the record straight is
doing something. Further, in the example, there are so many assumptions
based on "mental models"....some a priori assumptions....about others
interpretations of "tales told".

Finally, the limbic system needs some factoring, don't you think? It
would...actually it does....feel...feel....feel...awful to sense that we
are being maligned...misrepresented, scapegoated, etc. It feels
yucky....frustration, anger, resentment, hurt, sadness, pain, rage,
disappointment, etc. etc. etc. The relationship and connection (that is
in quantum dynamic state) between and among feelings, thoughts, actions,
reactions, is all a "doing"......I hear your story, dear Dave, and have
many similar ones of my own. I would bet that we all do.....the
determinants to "do" something are related to a specific action or
doing....that does not mean that no doing is going on.

So, what do ya' think? Good to connect with all of you, as always...