I like the theme of this thread. In my counseling practice, I have
certainly learned to respect what is often called "resistance" in the
literature since it is at the heart of what is holding the "system"
(individual, couple, or family) together in the desire to survive. I think
the notion of resistance as a path to "mental models" is excellent.
Generally I have found that once the purpose and function of the behavior
perceived as resistance is uncovered, the circumstances around its
adoption are understood, options to that behavior or process are explored,
and the intent of the client to survive and continue growing is affirmed,
the process of change, if needed, is much more readily entered into and
achieved.
In an organizational setting, I think we are working with the same
process, though our room to explore the personal aspects of the issues are
certainly restricted when compared to counseling or therapy (as they
should be!) If we can adopt the perspective that people are acting in
their own best interest given their history and their mental and
_emotional_ models, it can be easier to listen to their messages--whether
behavioral or verbal--and understand what they are trying to communicate.
(Often we are the last ones to understand our own communications to
others)
I would suggest that when the setting allows for it, the following
questions--if listened to effectively--can help to build the shared
understanding and trust that is needed for effective change:
1. What are your concerns (fears, doubts, etc.) about this choice
(decision, option, change, etc.)?
2. How do you see this event/decision/change impacting you (your
department, the clients/customers, the company, etc.)?
3. What do you most want to avoid or prevent from happening?
4. What do you think is the most important thing we should keep in mind?
5. What other ideas or options would you suggest we consider?
6. What would you see as an improvement in this situation?
7. Would you be willing to try something new in order to improve the
situation?
There is nothing remarkable about these questions, of course, and many
others are useful as well. It seems to be the quality of the listening and
the responsiveness to the information received that makes the difference.
Our willingness to change our own behavior to acknowledge or incorporate
the thoughts and feelings of others makes any change less threatening to
them and more reinforcing of learning.
Tobin Quereau
Austin Community College
5930 Middle Fiskville Rd.
Austin, TX 78752
quereau@austin.cc.tx.us
On Mon, 27 Mar 1995, Roland Foerster wrote:
> Does anyone have exercises which could be used to unhide these
> reasons behind "resistance to change"? How could we unlock the
> potential by not trying to overcome this resistnace, but to
> effectively deal with it in a productive manner?
[...quote snipped by your host...]