This question nicely illustrates the central confusion around this debate
over gossip. It causes us to separate the communication process implied
by the term "gossip" from the anti social or negative behavioral component
that is also implied in the term. Hence it is valuable ans socially
worthwhile for individuals to exchange ideas, information and (most
importantly) emotional affect -- even about absent third parties. What
can be destructive or damaging is the negative emotional thrust of some of
these exchanges. As others have observed we are unlikely to end the
practice of "gossip" but we can become aware of how it works both
positively and negatively. I think this answers (albiet indirectly) your
question, Marilyn.
David Justice
Dean, School for New Learning, DePaul University
djustice@wppost.depaul.edu