Quotes of the Day:

"You'll just have to wait until Tom and Ned die." - Geri at Starbucks

"You're always dying!" - Mrs. Littlefield at the nursing home

Journal of a Sabbatical

January 12, 1999

we are all going to die

My car wouldn't start this morning on the first three or four tries. Finally it turned over weakly and started. The battery is 5 years old and I should've replaced it before winter started but it's just another one of those things that doesn't filter up to the top of the list until it causes a problem.

I'm still trying to figure out where the time goes. I woke up at 10:15 after tossing and turning all night. I think I maybe only really slept from about 5:30 to 10:15. OK, where'd the time go:

10:15 -10:40 - dressed, shoveled a path to the car through the 3 inches of snow that fell last night, cleared the snow off the car, turned the key repeatedly until the car started.

10:40 - 10:50 - drove to the Butler's Pantry and parked the car.

10:50 - 10:56 - It took exactly 6 minutes to walk from the parking space to the Butler's Pantry, pour the coffee, ask for a blueberry scone, pay for both with exact change and walk back to the car.

10: 56 - 11:01 - In 5 more minutes the car was reparked behind the Earth Food Store, the scone was eaten, coffee dribbled on my jeans, and I was at my therapist's door.

11:01 - 11:59 - therapy while drinking the rest of the coffee

12:00 - 1:09 - bought lunch at Earth Food Store, walked to Starbucks, ate lunch and drank coffee at Starbucks, talked with Dan and Geri and Ned.

1:09 - 1:50 - drove to cat shelter to pick up a cat to take to the nursing home

1:50 - 2:00 - discussed cat choice with Bonnie and selected Moses, petted Jaguar for a minute or two

2:00 - 2:15 - loaded Moses in the cat carrier, drove to nursing home, carried Moses to activities room

2:15 - 3:15 - the me and Moses show

3:22 - arrive back at cat shelter with Moses. Door is locked. Note says Bonnie will be back at 3:30.

3:22 - 3:45 - sit on back steps of cat shelter talking to Moses quietly and contemplating the afternoon light on the phragmites or watching the cat that lives next door at the junque dealer tiptoe across the sagging porch roof. A woman arrives to pick up the cat she's adopting. I explain that Bonnie will be right back. She bums a cigarette from one of the vets downstairs and paces around the parking lot. A man arrives wanting to adopt a cat. He asks if I work here. I explain that Bonnie will be back any minute and me and Moses do indeed work here but we're locked out.

3:45 - 4:02 - put Moses back in his cage, clean the cat carrier, unload the washer, put in another load of wash, pet Jaguar, and head out in search of a new battery.

4:02 - 5:45 - drive back to North Andover, wait at Texaco station until the mechanic is free, have him check that the battery really won't hold a charge for long, it won't, it's basically shot. Wait for him to install new battery. Pay for same. Leave Texaco station.

It's all a blur after that. 5:45 was the last time I looked at my watch. Between then and now (about 9:15) I checked voice and e mails, returned phone calls, ate supper, fed Wilbur, scooped his litter box, put away the clean dishes, loaded the dishwasher with the dirty dishes, read the snail mail, aimlessly browsed the web. So, I still don't know where the time goes.

I realized that I could have told the story of yesterday's frustration in fewer, funnier words. And I left out completely the fact that the attachment that can't be read and can't be deleted is a picture of Zsolt's mother. Nancy finds that highly metaphoric, symbolic, and even Freudian. He can't get any e-mail because the disk is full of his mother. She's right. This would make a great short story. Talked to Zsolt on the phone twice tonight. Told him my disk is filling up with pictures of his mother. He believed me.

So, about those quotes of the day:

Dialogue 1

Geri: Why you don't just move to Providence?
Me: Oh, I'd have to sell my condo, and I have a lot of friends here, and I'd miss Tom and Ned.
Geri: You'll just have to wait until Tom and Ned die.
Ned: You'd spend your whole life on I-495 driving to and from the cat shelter. How is that different from driving to Providence?

Dialogue 2

Woman 1: I'm going to die. I'm going to sit here 'til I die. I'm going to die.
Mrs. L: We're all going to die.
Woman 2: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Woman 1: I'm going to die. I'm going to sit here 'til I die. I'm going to die
Mrs. L: You're always dying!

Separate events. Recurring theme.

Moses was the hit of the nursing home. They kept calling him "Holy Moses!" He ran around the room sniffing every wheelchair and walker, looking out every window, rubbing against people ...