Quote of the Day: "We're bombing Iraq, Merry Christmas" -- overheard at the buffet at China Blossom

Journal of a Sabbatical

December 16, 1998

pray for peace, people everywhere

Just last night my mother asked me what else I want for Christmas and I answered "world peace". It's sort of a family joke that my mother always asks for world peace and an end to world hunger, things we can't possibly give her. Last year Bobby wanted me to send him "world peace or coffee" and I tried to order a coffee blend called World Peace from some cafe in California but never got it and sent him Starbucks instead. Today "world peace" doesn't sound like such a joke answer.

When I heard the news this afternoon I looked over at my bookcases at the whole shelf of dharma books for comfort or an answer. I picked up Thich Nhat Hanh's Being Peace, which I read years ago and reread periodically. I wish I could say that I meditated and made myself more peaceful and it radiated out to society and the world became more peaceful. But I continued to feel like the world has gone totally out of control and I am powerless to stop it. I keep repeating to myself like a mantra: If you want peace, peace is with you immediately. I think that's a corruption of something I heard Thich Nhat Hanh say on a retreat I went to like 5 years ago or something. I don't know how to pray for peace. I don't know how to be peace.

I overslept this morning and was groggy the whole time I was washing dishes and litter boxes. Bob and Dawna were talking about a news story they saw about cats and dogs being made into fur coats, with graphic details. Then Bob and I got to talking about the annual deer hunt at the refuge, which took place last Wednesday and Thursday. I feel like my boundaries are going soft. These things really bothered me.

While I was eating a sandwich from Dick's Variety in my car at the refuge in search of ducks, I was listening to "experts" on NPR discussing how this time the US really is going to bomb Iraq and I tried to talk myself into disbelief. I guess I got close to succeeding because when the news broke I was startled. I did not believe we would really do it. Somehow I thought it would be called off at the last minute.

I went out for dinner tonight at the China Blossom. Lots of serious-faced people were watching the televisions intently. Apparently some people hadn't heard it was really happening 'cause when I was up serving myself at the buffet someone from one of the numerous office holiday parties happening there asked "what's going on?" A guy standing next to me answered: "We're bombing Iraq, Merry Christmas."