December 5, 1997
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Andrea has sucked out my brain and replaced it with a rubber pork chop. I pleaded for at least a rubber brain but no, it has to be a pork chop. Can I drive with a pork chop for brains? And anyway she's back to being named Ann again and I can't keep it straight. But with a rubber pork chop in my head it's no wonder I can't remember her nom du jour. Why do they start practicing piano 5 minutes after we are supposed to have left for piano lessons? Why isn't there an all Full House rerun channel? How long can "New Nacho Cheez-it Party Mix" sustain life? Was there an old Nacho Cheez-it Party Mix? Do pretzels shaped like saguaro cactus taste different from pretzels shaped like pretzels? What do pork chops dream of? Do they remember they were a pig? |
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