Journal of a Sabbatical

December 26, 2000

in the pit of my stomach

Today's Reading: Tin Tin in Tibet by Herge, Reminiscences of a Nonagenarian by Sara Anna Emery

Nancy took today off from work so I took her out to breakfast at J. Elliot's with intent to browse the Brown Bookstore afterward. Brown Bookstore is closed for the Xmas break so we browsed at College Hill instead. I found Tin Tin in Tibet, which I've been wanting for awhile and had semi-intended to give the kids for Christmas, a book of four weird novels by Daniel Pinkwater, and a book of classic travel stories about Tuscany and Umbria (ostensibly a present for Joan-west but there's nothing to stop my reading it before I send it off).

As we were walking out of College Hill Bookstore with my pile of purchases I heard the word "Wakefield" at low volume coming from the TV in the bookstore window. I turned around and saw the CNN headline "7 dead in workplace shooting, Wakefield, Massachusetts". The bottom dropped out of my stomach.

The place I used to work (I usually refer to it as Cosmodemonic Telecomm) is in Wakefield. The thought crossed my mind that it's exactly the sort of place something awful could happen. Workplace anger and hostility was pretty common.

I got in the car and scanned radio stations until I found news. I was relieved that it wasn't my former workplace but horrified at seven violent deaths. I listened to as much news as I could find and then went over to Tealuxe to stare into space over a cup of hot tea while Nancy went record shopping at Tom's Tracks.

I just kept mulling over what it felt like to be angry at work, whether I or anyone I knew could be capable of such a thing, what kind of a person could kill seven people in cold blood - not even strangers but people he knew...

The queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach didn't start to abate until I'd been home for hours. I drank herbal tea and read Tin Tin in Tibet to try to get it out of my mind.