Journal of a Sabbatical

December 11, 2000

overrated

Today's Bird Sightings:
Plum Island
American black duck (hordes)
gadwall (17)
Canada goose (102)
northern mockingbird (1)
mallard (hordes)
merlin (1)

Today's Reading: Tall Trees and Far Horizons by Virginia Eifert, Autumn from the Journal of Henry David Thoreau edited by H.G.O. Blake

Once again I discover that e-commerce is overrated. Not that I didn't know that already. I just continue to be amazed.

I uploaded the newsletter (in PDF format) to a print shop that has a big sign outside their place advertising their digital printing service. Next day service even. Supposedly you can e-mail them the file or upload it onto their web site, give 'em the specs either online or in e-mail and presto you have printed copy the next day, which looks better than photocopies and is faster. That's the blurb. I used the web site option because I have far less trouble with that than with e-mail attachments. Should've been fast, smooth, and easy.

Moments after I uploaded the file and completed the form I got a weird message from an auto-responder telling me that this was no longer the way to reach "name of company" completely different from "name of company I thought I was dealing with" instead of a confirmation of my order. I puzzled over it for awhile and decided that just to be on the safe side, I would stop by the print shop in the morning with the PDF file on a floppy.

The print shop was busy. Three people were ahead of me. Finally it's my turn:

Print shop employee 1: "What's that?" pointing at the floppy in my hand.
Me: "A diskette." Pause. "With a PDF file on it."
Print shop employee 1: "What's a PDF file?"

Umm, I start explaining, not what a PDF file is, but that I sent a digital print job via the web site last night and didn't get a confirmation so brought another copy of the file...

Print shop employee 1: "What web site? Do we have a web site?"
Print shop employee 2 to me: "Did you email it?"
Me: "No, I uploaded it on your web site."
Print shop employee 1: "What web site?"
Print shop employee 2 to me: "What's the name of the job?"
Me: "MRFRS Volunteer Newsletter."
Print shop employee 2: "It's there, just give her (employee 1) the specs and we'll take care of it."
Print shop employee 1 looking at the screen: "Who is 'name of company'?"
Print shop employee 2: "Oh, they're the people who host our web site."

Well at least that explains why the auto-response came from "name of company" instead of "name of company I thought I was dealing with" but not why the message had nothing to do with confirming my order.

And now for our topology lesson, or something.

Print shop employee 1: "Do you want that one-sided or two-sided?"
Me: "Two-sided."
Print shop employee 1: "Is it one-sided now?" "Or is it a two-sided original?"
Me struggling with the concept: "It's 4 pages and I want it printed on both sides, that's two sheets of paper."
Print shop employee 1: "So that's two-sided to two-sided? How many sides does it have now?"
Me: "It's a file. It doesn't have any sides."

So, like I'm expecting this to be printed and she's filling out a form for photocopying. Finally we agree on checking off 1-sided to 2-sided just so we can go on with the form. The print shop promises the job by 10:00 tomorrow morning. Gee, if I'd brought hardcopy I could have had it photocopied by now.

Back at my hovel, I check my email and discover that a book I ordered from amazon.com weeks ago is out of stock and won't be delivered until January 3. As it's a Christmas present for La Madre, I cancel the order. I've seen this book on local bookstore shelves (it's a memoir about women in Massachusetts politics by a woman my mother campaigned for years ago) so should probably have picked it up there. E-commerce is highly overrated.