No matter. Here it is Lei Day, and I will get lei'd.
An Exceptional Breakfast
We pile into the minivan once again. Today the plan is to start the day off with breakfast at the Five Palms Grille on S. Kihei Road.
I am at first skeptical. The place really doesn't look all that much different from any other place on the beach we've eaten at. Not that that's a bad thing mind you - but my parents have really been dying to eat here again and have been pushing the issue for the last few days. The hostess, an elder Japanese woman, has a face like an angry prune; she seats us wordlessly at our table.
My perceptions change when our waitress arrives, a nice younger native woman. She's got a much better attitude than the hostess, and when she passes out the menus I instantly know that this place is a winner. Baked banana pancakes, walnut and cherry waffles with brown sugar butter, sweet bread french toast, guava smoked ham... island delicacies of every kind. Breakfast paradise. The meal is amazingly yummy, and delightfully prepared and presented. This place is getting a top rating from me.
We are definitely coming back here again before we leave.
The Grand Wailea
We proceed satisfied from our delectable breakfast into Wailea, where we set off for a parent-guided tour of the Grand Wailea hotel. We valet park at the entrance, and witness the incredible layout of this place.
The main lobby is gigantic. There are several huge fountains with large bronze sculptures of traditional Hawaiians in the center. Bountiful gardens surround the myriad walkways that wind through the lobby - it is quite simply an enormous open area, but is still technically indoors with huge cathedral ceilings.
Further in, there are about another ten sculptures surrounding the center lounge, these created by the reknowned Fernando Botero. Botero's work is characterized by his incredibly obese human and animal figures. Everything living in his sculpture and paintings is very fat, and all the inanimate objects are tiny in comparison. He often paints scenes of Spanish life, and frequently puts really huge cats in his paintings. The sculptures are beautiful, and fit in with the decor nicely.
My parents get to talking with some artisans and demonstrators in the lobby who have set up couple of tables for Lei Day. My dad has been talking about trying to find an authentic boar's tusk necklace that he can wear when he shoots the next season of Oz on HBO... and what do you know - the craftsman here just happens to have exactly what my dad wants. My mom buys it for him for a hundred bucks (which is actually a very cheap price). He spends the rest of the day wearing this thing, which is in the shape of a crescent moon - two tusks up against each other tied together with a waxed rope. Everyone native who sees my dad walk by gives him a huge grin and comments on the thing, and my dad is smiling from ear to ear.
Jonathan gets a copy of the rate sheet for rooms at the hotel. The cheapest room is 450 dollars a night; the three bedroom grand suite is 10,000 dollars a night. Sweet Jesus. It must be worth it though, judging by the looks of it...
After going down five floors, we reach the ground level where the pools and beach are. There is a quaintly beautiful little chapel in the center of the grounds where we exit - it's surrounded by a large pool of enormous koi (japanese carp). The front and back of the chapel are completely stained glass and depict traditional Hawaiian rituals. It looks as if the chapel is lined up directly with the setting sun... it must look amazing in the evenings.
The Wrath Of The Gods
The last event of the day is to attend the Old Lahaina Luau in the Cannery shopping mall in Lahaina. It's been rated the best luau in the whole state, and it only depicts traditional Hawaiian history and dances, instead of all Polynesia. They also serve authentic Hawaiian dishes and have a reputation for great service.
We've been joking that my aunt Gloria has lava rocks in her shoes. For those of you not aware, taking lava rock from the island brings the Curse of Pele upon you, for you are taking Pele's children from her. On the drive in to Lahaina, we see some smoke from the other side of the island off the road and wonder where it's coming from. A few minutes later, we stop dead on the road, and there is no traffic coming from the other direction. It turns out that a truck caught fire on the road, which is a huge pisser because there is only one road that goes to the other side of the island, and everybody has to use it. Luckily, our side of traffic is not where the car is, and we get to proceed - but we literally see traffic backed up for about 10 miles in the opposite direction. Lucky us!
My aunt Gloria then asks "What do they do at the luau if it rains?". Nobody knows, but everybody assumes there's some plan in place.
We get to the luau, and my uncle Mickey needs to get some special attention, as he can't sit on the ground too well or walk too far; the servers, who are also the performers, treat us very well and take care of us - especially when they see my dad's boar tusk necklace. They take special note reading the reservation card aloud: "You're the Caprio family? We'll take care of you."
The food is all it's cracked up to be (for a buffet anyways). Good stuff. It's a free and open bar, so I order a bunch of Blue Hawaiians and a Mai Tai. Yum. But what do you think happens, right in the middle of dinner? Yes indeed... it starts to rain. Not a heavy rain, but not eactly a drizzle either. My dad is astonished. Never, in all the years he has come to the islands, has it rained on him at a luau.
So what is the contingency plan? Shortly after the rain starts, the servers run around and pass out ponchos to everyone. Immediately after everyone gets a poncho, it stops raining and clears up completely.
The show goes on, and is a pretty nice one. It's not a spectacular by any means, no fire dances or anything, but it's a really nice little dance show, with lots of great singing and chanting.
Last Words
Somehow the conversation in the van on the way back to the resort turns to the supernatural. People talk of strange happenings and events they'd witnessed, visions and restless spirits. I've never been one to believe in anything of that sort, but I can't help but feel a little spooked looking out the window over the blackness of the open sea. It's very easy to believe that there is magic at work out here, what with the strange flora, fauna, and landscapes of lava rock and black and red dirt. It's almost otherworldly when you look at things a certain way.
Aloha, and see you tomorrow!