Libertarianism in One Lesson; The Second Lesson
Part of the "Critiques of Libertarianism" site.
Last updated 10/25/07.
Why is there a second lesson when the title says one lesson?
Libertarianism is so double-plus-good that through the magic of
libertarian accounting we can insist that 1+1=1.
See the first bulleted entry for further explanation.
Refresher time in libertarianism! Some of you might begin to doubt our
generation-long barrage of libertarian propaganda due to the stubborn
reluctance of reality to conform to libertarian ideology.
Never fear! Even if you are in the wasteheap of history, the market
in its wisdom grants you a period of unemployment during which you can
reinstill your dogmatic certitude. We have a fresh crop of excuses to
memorize that will convince you of your own brilliance! Smite the
Libertarian Party USA
Libertarianism Has The Answers!
So what if David Bergland's "Libertarianism In One Lesson" has 99 pages
in 16 numbered chapters. Why would you think that was more than one
America's fastest declining political party!
Harry Browne had it right in his 2000 campain. Trust to the efficacy
of the market! As soon as you threaten to put a bounty on the head of
a terrorist, all your terrorism problems will be solved.
We cannot trust government to get anything right. We should look to
examples of private organizations such as the Libertarian Party USA as
role models; even if they cannot count their declining membership,
balance their budget, or tell their members the truth about their
If markets are the best allocation mechanism, libertarians should demand
that the party's positions should be sold to the highest bidders.
Forget that voting crap: it's initiation of force! Surely the highest
bidder will represent libertarian interests better than anyone else.
Libertarians are to liberty as conservatives are to conservation!
Libertarianism is based on natural rights; no, neutrality; no,
non-aggression; no, responsibility; no, self ownership; no, property
rights; no, ....
When is it legitimate to initiate the use of force against others?
Never! Unless, of course, you really need to initiate force... then
it's pre-emptive protection of property rights.
Of course libertarianism is compatible with Christianity! Just
substitute "the market" for "Jesus", and ask "What would the market do?"
It is more parsimonious and economically austere to consider only the
libertarian side of the argument.
Net funding for charitable works and public goods will increase when the
taxes that currently support them are abolished. After all, don't we
all donate our tax refund checks to charity?
Trendy buzzwords like 'chaos theory' irrefutably prove that Government
interferes with the 'spontaneous order' of free people.
Criticism of libertarianism is destructive. Criticism of society by
libertarians is constructive.
Nostalgia for bygone "golden eras" will guide us better than the actual
historical record of their suffering, corruption, cruelty, inequality of
rights, and primitive standards of living.
Nobody has a right to free food or medical care or other amenities.
Children are thus either imaginary or property.
Our libertarian ideas are boldly nonconformist, yet conveniently
reaffirm our desire to do nothing but complain.
Libertarians get to define who the classical liberals were. If they
weren't just like libertarians, no matter how famous, they should be
stricken from the rolls. Rousseau? Faugh!
Public schools are a monopoly: a staggering 80% of American children attend them in
thousands of independently run school districts.
Microsoft is not a monopoly: only 95% of computers use MSWindows.
Government causes pollution, crime, discrimination, slavery, poverty,
and all the other evils of the world. Businesses and individuals only
produce wealth: they are not involved and not responsible for any of
Taxation is slavery, but rent is not. Even if you pay more in rent,
even if you have also chosen where you pay taxes.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT the fact that the Internet came from a government
Gang rape is democracy. Five people say "Yes," one person says "No,"
and the majority rules. Which is why gang rape is legal in every state.
America was much more libertarian 150 years ago, before Big Government,
when women, children, and slaves were the property of white males, and
killing indians for their land was Manifest Destiny.
A practice common in business is insufferable by government. Pay for
government services? Insufferable!
Four legs gooooood, two legs baaaaaad. Private gooooood, government baaaaaad.
All government activity is use of force, and thus volence. Yes, this
includes public libraries: don't you see the violence inherent in the
creation of public libraries?
Only markets, promoted by those wise liberals of the 18th century, can
solve coordination problems. Democratic representative governments,
which were foisted upon us by those same deluded liberals of the 18th
century, result in chaos and difficulty finding good servants.
When government provides a service, it is a crutch. When private
enterprise provides the same service, you are a manly man to purchase
Big media have a virulent anti-business bias because they report on
harmful business practices. Truth is no defense against our
accusations of bias, nor is the observation that big media ARE big
There are no market failures, only government failures. Which is why we
should abolish corporations, patents, copyright and other intellectual
property; they are established by government interference with free
Copyright 2007 by Mike Huben ( firstname.lastname@example.org ).
This document may be freely distributed for non-commercial purposes if it is reproduced in its textual entirety, with this notice intact.