The Role of Conflict LO9844

John Constantine (
Mon, 09 Sep 1996 07:47:21 -0700

Replying to LO9821 --

Dale Emery wrote:

> I didn't read John's comment that "Communication depends upon the
> RECEIVER, not the SENDER" as putting responsibility in one place or the
> other. I read it as describing what happens a single send/receive
> interaction. The receiver is much more in control of what gets received.
> Most of the time the receiver receives pretty much what the sender
> intended. Sometimes the receiver receives something else, independent
>of the receiver's intention.
> In this case, you and I received different messages from John's words.
> We both read the same words, but we made different meanings. What got
> communicated came more from you and me than from John.
> Fortunately, communication doesn't have to be only a single, one way
> send/receive interaction. As you point out, that's why dialogue is so
> important. John now has our responses, which gives him the opportunity
> to enrich and clarify his meaning if he chooses.>

I appreciated your manner. Trying to clarify another's intention is
difficult enough when the "lines" are clear and open. When there is some
static, it can be next to impossible.

As you correctly pointed out, the idea was to view a "co-mmunication" as a
process in which what gets "translated" into meaning is much more
dependent upon the receiving end than the sending. It isn't so much a case
of "responsibility" as it is of "possibility"; more of a two-step process
than one.

As in many modems, once the key element of "open channel" is acheived,
there can be clear transmission and the possibility of co-mmunication. If
the line is full of noise, or the channel is simply not open, there can be
little exchange of data or philosophy as the case might be.

So, the key element is the initial stage of "opening the channel". Once
done, ideas can be exchanged. (Though as you also point out, there is not
necessarily understanding.) If a channel can't be opened, it becomes
simply "screaming" directed at another. If the man chooses to walk in
front of a bus, shouting won't do much. This is what I meant and do mean.
Thanks for pointing out the possibilities.


Regards, John Constantine Rainbird Management Consulting Santa Fe, NM

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