Date: Wed, 19 Jun 96 21:44:01 PDT
From: phillip@singnet.com.sg
In LO 7894 Rol Fessenden responded to Jyotsna Pattabiraman's
>> Over time ,I have found that this has killed most of my
>> enthusiasm to do anything at all in many areas of my
>> life!! I find this dangerous.
with:
>The game you are about to play requires only two people.
>(snip) The task of your friend is to say, "No, you can't
>have that." (snip) The essential point is
>that in these situations when you feel rejected, your
>feelings can very powerfully tell you things that are not
>true.(snip) The lesson for me was that the feelings are
>valid, but that does not mean they are accurate reflections
>reality. Therefore, perhaps someone else does care,
>therefore, perhaps there is hope, therefore I -- you -- are
>not helpless, therefore, this person can not necessarily
>prevent you from accomplishing your greatest dreams.
I agree with much of what Rol says here but want to deal with
the game results. They not only highlight limitations one
accepts 'now' from other people in the work (or other)
environment but, through patterning that starts in childhood,
also one's own self-imposed limiting beliefs and the filters
through which one perceives reality, experiences that build
up and operate inside us without our necessarily being aware
they are there, controlling our responses.
Further on Rol comments:
> Additionally, it is very difficult to overcome the feelings
>you describe if you are alone. Therefore, find allies who
>can also develop a constructive, fun attitude about
>overcoming the system.
Agreed, but what if you are on your own or you do not feel
there are people around who you can share with? It is
interesting to see a number of other recent posts about
"fear". Many organisations are not "fun" places and survival
for many is just keeping one's head down and 'living' outside
of work.
Personally I have been lucky since I have a like-minded
colleague with whom I often talk these sorts of issues over.
She also introduced me to a "toolkit" for dealing with these
limiting beliefs through a course called "Avatar". I did not
know what to expect when I went on the course but I knew the
personal situation I was in was unacceptable and I was having
difficulty coping with the pressure. When these things
happen, when one most needs the separation between work and
the rest of one's life, is when the spillover and disruption
is most likely to occur. As Jyotsna said, killing enthusiam
to do anything at all in many areas of his life.
I won't describe the course for it is something one has to
experience but it astounded me. (If you want to know more
about the company that manages it, Star's Edge, have a Web
page at <http://www.starsedge.com/>). First of all it was
great to be put back in touch with my feelings (which I tend
to deny, also I want to analyse and think too much) and,
second, it was not an 'instant fix' but a set of tools that
can be applied any time and that become more effective with
use and practice, that handle the self-imposed limitations
and also the reactions that come up within me to 'external
threats'.
In looking at the 'result' of the game described by Rol I
would say that all the feelings and reactions described can
not only be discreated but one can go further and create, in
their place, the positive belief of accomplishing the dream
and then going for it. At a personal level I now have a
method of changing my beliefs to the positive, focusing on my
primary goal and can handle the distractions from this.
These are tools for the development of personal mastery.
The colleague who introduced me to these tools has
suggested considering applying the power of individual
changes to personal belief systems being applied in a team or
even across a 'learning organisation'. The potential of an
effective team who create and then pursue their shared vision
in this way seems enormous. However, this is not like a
"training course" that people can be sent on but a personal
commitment to changing oneself, working within a team to
building something new with a common toolkit (and language).
Has anyone tried anything like this at a team level? Are
there any references that anyone could provide for research
on this?
--Phillip Spencer phillip@singnet.com.sg (addressing note: 'phillip' has "double-el")
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>