Re: Forming a Group LO3250

Willard Jule (75272.3452@compuserve.com)
18 Oct 95 09:08:49 EDT

Replying to LO3204 --

In response to my comment on learning to communicate in the other person's
frame of refernece, Matzdorf FIdes wrote

"So, if you happen to communicate with a sadist (just using a more
extremeexample to illustrate what I mean), whose idea of being shown love
is tohave the other person kiss the soles of his/her boots... Or with
amasochist who yearns for love in the form of whipping... Or with a
religious fanatic... all right, I'll stop being facetious.

More seriously, I think the frame of reference needs to be negotiated if
what you aim for is two-way communication. Otherwise this comes close to
giving up your identity - and then you don't get your message(s) across
either."

Amen!!! Thanks for highlighting the other half of communication. I
always assume a win/win attitude in my thoughts so I expressed only half
of the communication equation. I am one hundred percent with you on
ensuring that our actions are a win for us as well as for the other
person.

I typically have more of a problem in my own communication style of not
observing the other person's frame of reference. Standing up for my own
convictions is rarely an issue. But as your response points out, my
initial posting was from my frame of reference and not necessarily in the
receiver's frame of reference so I omitted half of the equation of
effective communication.

--
Willard Jule
75272.3452@compuserve.com