What interests me in particular has been its usefulness towards creating a
culture for dialogue, openness, vulnerability and what I would call the
centredness of each individual participant, in workshops.
I would appreciate comment or similar examples or feedback if anyone tries
it out.
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LISTENING SKILLS AND CENTREING EXERCISE
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This is a powerful exercise which can be used in many different ways.
Especially useful for creating a culture of dialogue at the start of
worshop.
Good to always have led with a 'charter' of how we will treat each other
during the workshop (I always add Angelis Arrien's four universals:
- Listen for what has heart and meaning
- Be open to outcome not attached to outcomes
- Tell the truth without blame or judgement
- Show up and be present
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Then ask participants to buzz in pairs for 3 minutes on "what is
listening, why is it important?" and then to reflect back to the group.
Flipchart discussion.
Sometimes I chat about Listening as Leadership, on the necessity to listen
very intently to what people are trying to say or would want to say if
they could, before acting. Also on the need for us to listen to ourselves
as we listen to others. Draw comment and flipchart.
Facilitator then gives a short input on how people could listen to each
other. Using a simple picture of a person indicate:
- listening to the left brain for logic, theory and analysis, including
their coherence and integrity and to the right brain for creativity and
chaos...
- listening to the heart for feelings (of all kinds, give examples).
- listening to the feet for will, intention, what people really want and
want to do.
Then explain the ensuing exercise to the participants, before setting them
off in their groups:
All the participants should self-organise into groups of four. I often
suggest that people choose others who are as different and as unknown to
them as possible. Each four finds a comfortable, (if possible) private
spot.
One person will volunteer to begin. He or she tells a story about
themselves - it could be around a question like "What's happening to me at
work?". If this exercise is used as a launch for a longer workshop you
could add a question like "why have I come to this workshop?"
The story would be for five to ten minutes.
The person to the left of the story-teller listens to the story for the head
(facts, logic, creativity).
The person opposite listens for the heart, the feeling or emotions.
The person to the right listens for the feet, the will or intention
While the story is being told there should be silence from the listeners
to enable to the story-teller to focus and dig deep. If after a short
time the story dries up, you might suggest that the silence continues
while the story-teller collects her/his thoughts. Often some really
meaningful stuff emerges after this.
After the story is told each of the listeners reflects back (to their
group) their interpretation of what they heard. Then another five to ten
minutes is needed for a general discussion. This is important. These
discussions are often very sympathethic and therefore natural dialogues
that are very useful for all.
Then revolve the whole thing by one person, so that the second person then
gets a turn to tell his/her story and the next person around listens for
the head, the next the heart etc. etc. until after each has told their
story and everyone has listened and reflected and had a discussion about
them.
5-10 minutes telling a story
5-10 minutes reflection from 3 listeners
5-10 minutes discussion
If the number of participants is not divisible by 4 then it has been fine
for one or two groups to vary in size with joint listening, as long as
each gets to tell their story.
Its good to let people have tea together afterwards or at least a stretch.
When the whole group next gathers ask people how they found the whole
experience. Encourage lots of reflection about process. Then close the
exercise.
The whole thing should take a minimum of an hour, up to 2.5 hours max..
You can set the times for each person depending on how much time is
available, how much they need to share in terms of the broader workshop
design or according to the participants own sense. If there is a squeeze
on time I suggest 5 minutes for the story, 5 for reflections and 5 for
discussion (ie 15 minutes per person). Any less time may leave
participants frustrated.
This is both a listening exercise and an opportunity to deal with the
assumptions and preconceptions we have of each other and which we project.
I have been amazed at the real dialogue I often find here. It also helps
people to individually centre themselves, because during the discussion
they get valuable feedback and good advice.
This has been used for widely varying numbers of participants. The
smallest was a group of 8 from a media team, another of 150 professionals
and the biggest was over 600 very diverse high school youth in a
leadership workshop. They took 2.5 hours and at the end gave a standing
ovation! Groups have often said that they were able to share pain that
they had never shared before. One man said that he found himself talking
about things he hadn't been able to tell his wife.
I tend to use it as a kick-off to most workshops that are a day or longer.
It helps to begin all workshops by helping participants to be centred,
open and vulnerable to each other and for everyone to begin to appreciate
their own and each other's uniqueness. These are the elements of the
culture a facilitator often wants to create or encourage to enable a
workshop to happen. This exercise has helped to do all these things on
several occasions. I suspect that things like 'sharing pain' and
'realising we all have similar problems' also have a profound effect on
the culture of the whole (ensuing) workshop.
-- Doug Reeler - dreeler@iaccess.za New Horizons Development Services Cape Town, South Africa