Re: Training Execs for Int'l LO2251

Carol Anne Ogdin (
27 Jul 95 8:05:47 EDT

In LO2234, Bernard Girard writes a riposte to my own lament that, in
foreign countries, American's aren't invited home:

>I had the same experience in Japan. But why should we expect people to
>invite us in their home? We have different social behaviors. And it's a
>mistake often done to see some discrimination where there is none. British
>don't invite people home the way you do in the states. That's all. They
>don't see their house the way you do, they don't "live" the way you do,
>the way I do. What's true of the house, is true of a lot of things, of
>drinking manners, for instance. Between Paris and London there is only 45
>minutes but we feel and are very different. At 7 PM you see a lot of
>people in pubs in London. They enjoy drinking a glass of beer (gin=8A)
>together after work. We don't d= o that in Paris. Never. At least in the
>middle class. These differences are a good thing. We should preserve
>them.It's not so easy=


I've come to *learn* not to expect anything else...but that does nothing
to assuage my longing for something more intimate in a relationship.

But what bothers me most is the pattern that emerges in your response that
thrusts all the responsibility for flexibility and adaptation on the
visitor and traveler. In my experience, rapport is a two-way street: I
accommodate some, and the other person accommodates some. The result is
that we *both* learn something new...even if that proves uncomfortable at
the start (which most learning experiences do!). Yes, long-live the dif-
ferences; I am not for homogonizing behavior to a single stand- ard. We
need the variety of experience and viewpoints in this world, lest we
descend into the pits of "groupthink". On the other hand, the flexibility
that each of us exhibits in a nascent relationship to be accommodating, to
be responsive, to be considerate, is is our gift to the other, part of the
bonding into more initimate relationship. It requires effort from both

Unilateral rapport works, but not as well as bilateral rapport.

Carol Anne Ogdin "Great minds discuss ideas,
Deep Woods Technology average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."
--Adm. Hyman G. Rickover