The approach that seems most helpful is to start by assisting them in
getting to "their" truth and acknowleging its validity in the context of
their life. At that point, having had some practice in accepting (and
being accepted with!) their
own "reality", there seems to be an opening to the possibility that some
other person's perception or "reality" may also have value or validity
for them--even if it is not clear or seems threatening at the time.
Most often I find that once the first step of awareness is made overt and
shared, the second level requires not much more than a gentle inquiry
(along the lines of your example) about what another's purpose or intent
might be if it were _different_ from what was assumed to be the case. In
other words, the empathetic shift of perspective comes more easily when
the threat and invalidation are reduced from within the person's own
inner "system" of beliefs.
I realize that the context of counseling is _not_ what organizations
need, but the resonance I can detect between the personal, the
interpersonal, and the organizational is certainly becoming more clear as
I study the learning organization model. It is a fascinating journey in
any case.
In summary, let me offer my "concise" version of the meanderings above and
a somewhat more circular corallary to the ladder of inference:
_Believing is Seeing_
Beliefs influence perception.
Perception structures reality.
Reality suggests possibilities.
Possibilities generate choices.
Choices lead to action.
Actions affect outcomes.
Outcomes impact beliefs.
Awareness facilitates change.
Change anywhere becomes change
Everywhere.
Tobin Quereau
Coordinator, Staff and Organizational Learning
Austin Community College
5930 Middle Fiskville Rd.
Austin, Texas 78752 USA
(512) 483-7821
quereau@austin.cc.tx.us