november in the soul

November 7, 2004


"Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off--then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. "  -- Moby Dick

Not that it's particularly drizzly ... we're actually having some lovely, though windy and power failure inducing, weather lately but it is November on the calendar and in the soul. The revelation of the depth of the homophobia in America's soul this week really sucked the euphoria from the Red Sox World Series victory right out of me. Lacking the wherewithal to "get to sea" we went to the beach and took a long walk around the Sandy Point end of Plum Island.

Sandy Point is a gem of a beach any time but it was particularly gorgeous today as the high winds had blown the sand into a landscape kind of reminiscent of a zen garden -- especially around the rocks. A couple of bold sanderlings walked right up to us as if we were simply big piles of sea lettuce or something. There were a few scoters riding the waves. The ones I could see well enough to identify were all white-winged scoters but I'm told there were black scoters around also.

With so much beauty all around it's hard to feel gloomy, so maybe one doesn't actually have to go to sea but only to look at it.

Before you ask: No, I don't know how many times I've quoted the above passage from Moby Dick in this journal.

Last night we saw Team America: World Police. We were by far the oldest people in the theater -- by at least 30 years, maybe closer to 40 years... Who knew the f-word could be that entertaining? It was just the catharsis I needed. Crude humor with puppets making fun of both the left and the right. At least I thought it was pretty equal.

Even after a cathartic satirical movie, a fabulous walk on the beach, and an Angelina's veggie sub (best subs on the planet) I still have this nagging dread of the future as it seems to look to the media who keep on discussing this "moral values" thing. Who decided that what voters meant when they responded to the poll questions that their vote was based on moral values? Did the pollsters define what they meant by moral values? Heck, I might well have said I cast my vote based on moral values because I believe good stewardship of the environment is a moral value. But the way the media keeps discussing it as a vote against gay marriage, civil unions, domestic partner benefits, and stem cell research made me feel like gay people caused the Democrats to lose the election. That's what it seemed to me the pundits were saying in their weird coded language.

This November in the soul had better lift soon. I don't think I can refrain from stepping into the street and methodically knocking people's hats off for four more years.

**

Today's Reading
Letters to a Spiritual Seeker by Henry David Thoreau

This Year's Reading
2004 Booklist


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Copyright © 2004, Janet I. Egan