Journal of a Sabbatical

March 30, 2001

explaining myself

Quote of the Day: "THE FLOOD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT FOR ESSEX COUNTY MASSACHUSETTS TONIGHT" -- The National Weather Service

Relevant hydrographs:

Shawsheen River - updated every 4 hours

Merrimack River

Concord River -- at the gage closest to Andover

Today's Reading: A Visit to India, China, and Japan in the Year 1853 by Bayard Taylor

I woke from a dream in which Supreme Court decisions and constitutional amendments were being overturned one by one. I was staying at a huge rustic campground surrounded by brown wooden signs on which the Bill of Rights, amendments, and famous Supreme Court decisions like Roe v. Wade and Brown v. Board of Education were carved and painted in gold. Each time a decision or a right was overturned its sign was taken down. I woke up screaming "Ohmigod they've overturned Roe versus Wade and Brown versus Board of Education!" Shaken, I realized it was only a dream.

It was not a dream, however, that President Bush referred to China as "Red China" last week. Dan assured me this afternoon that I heard that one right.

Shortly after my bizarre dream and well before my coffee a headhunter called me. Picture it. I'm sitting at my desk in a white Jockey Big Man T-shirt and flannel boxer shorts with Winnie the Pooh on the right leg. Wherever did I get boxers with Winnie the Pooh on them? Oh never mind. Anyway, there I am puzzling over the fact that although I've found the modem port on the dusty laptop it refuses to dial out. The phone rings. It's a headhunter with one of those young newage sounding names and a perky voice. Do headhunters come in a non-perky variety?

The perky newage sounding headhunter gives me the "we notice we haven't contacted you for awhile ..." speech and wants to know what I'm doing now. Egad! I've got to explain myself before coffee?!?

Evidently it has been quite awhile since this particular agency contacted me because they have no record of my stint at Cosmodemonic Telecomm. Ms. Newage Name gushes how impressed she is at my high falutin' titles and is puzzled when I say I don't want to do management anymore. Evidently the word overrated is not in her vocabulary. So then we get to what I'm doing now and why I might be interested in looking. Whew, try explaining that before coffee while still in your underwear. Yikes. So I try to explain IDRI and what I do for them.

Ms. Newage Name: "Do you like it?"
Ms. Winnie the Pooh Underwear: "I love it."
Ms. Newage Name: "Why are you considering looking?"
Ms. Winnie the Pooh Underwear: "Well, I wasn't until you called but the stock market crashed and I'm going to need money to support myself if my stock doesn't go back up so I might as well consider it."
Ms. Newage Name: "So you love the job but you're not satisfied with the compensation?"
Ms. Winnie the Pooh Underwear: "I'm living off my Cosmodemonic Telecomm stock so I can afford to work for IDRI..."
Ms. Newage Name, interrupting: "Have you talked to them about your compensation?"
Ms. Winnie the Pooh Underwear: "Yeah, they know I can't afford to work for them if my stock drops much further, we apply for grants all the time, we just don't get any... umm, what was your name again? Why don't you just send me your card and if I really need to look I'll call you."

It went on like that with my completely failing to explain clearly that I give them money they don't give me money. I even used the words "labor of love"... The more I try to explain the more I realize I am on a vastly different planet possibly in a different galaxy maybe even a different universe from 21st century high-tech employment.

This reminds me of a story that David Bookstore told me yesterday. Three guys are standing in line to by lottery tickets: a lawyer, a doctor, and a bookseller. They get to talking about what they're going to do with the winnings. The lawyer says "I think I'll retire to an island somewhere and relax in the sun." The doctor says "Yeah, I'm tired of all this managed care and HMO's and stuff. I think I'll retire too." "What about you?" they ask the bookseller. "Oh, I think I'll keep selling books until the money runs out."

So even the fabled Dan,Jr. has given up on his dot-com startup and gotten a real job doing Linux support at some big company (big companies use Linux?). I recount my tale of Ms. Newage Name headhunter to Dan and Geri and to my surprise Geri thinks I should pursue this particular headhunter even though she didn't call about any specific job and didn't seem to have a clue who I am. Geri thinks I should get a job any job. She doesn't get the whole labor of love thing either. I tell David's story again. That doesn't sway her. I keep explaining myself but y'know it's no use.

What profiteth a man [read corporate high-tech executive] if he gain the whole world but lose his own soul?

Trees matter. Cats matter. Piping plovers matter. I have a hard time thinking software matters in the same way. But I am well aware that that's just me.

There's about 6 inches of heavy wet snow on the ground and the snow has changed to rain. I ford Main Street to deposit the check from the Hungarians at the Fleet ATM, soaking my jeans to mid-calf in the process. The ATM is down. I ford the street back to my car, wave bye-bye to Dan and Geri and drive off through the flooded streets in search of a functioning ATM and the meaning of life or at least an explanation for myself.