Journal of a Sabbatical

May 12, 2000

undersocialized

Today's Reading: Uttermost Part of the Earth by E. Lucas Bridges

Today's Starting Pitcher:
Pedro Martinez
Pedro's strikeouts: 15

Pedro Martinez rocks! He struck out 15, walked none, gave up 2 hits.

There is nothing else to say today.

Except that I read the labels on wasp poisons and scared myself shitless. The poison is scarier than the wasps. Not for use indoors. What about in doors? I'm gonna spray this on my kitchen door? Don't breathe it. Don't touch it. Spray the wasps when they're least active, that is at dawn and dusk, so they don't attack you. Don't spray it near pets or people. How am I gonna keep Wilbur away from the door? What about me? Aren't I people? Eeeeeeeeeeek! Needless to say, I didn't buy the wasp poison today.

Except that I had a bad case of "darn, I forgot to be heterosexual and raise kids in the suburbs and have grandchildren". This was right around the same time I discovered that Ned is a chick magnet. I walk into Starbucks and he's sitting there with his wife, Sara, surrounded by a table full of women. He proceeds to introduce me to each of them. They proceed to ask me the usual suburban matron questions about schools and coaches and do I know so-and-so and so-and-so-else in North Andover. It is pretty incredible that I've lived in North Andover this long and know nobody, know nobody's kids, know nobody's kids' coaches... I try to explain that I know people in Andover, but only poets or people who hang out at the coffee shop. Eeeeeeeeeeeeek! Can I run screaming out of Starbucks? Or would that seem really undersocialized?