22 stories by MaryDan Cooper The couple proudly noted that the bride and groom cake topper was the very one that had been on their wedding cake, 50 years ago. Their son said, sotto voce, “You should see their basement.” “Mom? Did you get a complaint letter from my landlord? My flatmates’ parents got letters and have descended on Morgantown.” “It didn’t occur to me to get involved. You’ve been launched.” The semester’s best lesson. His mother-in-law had cried wolf once too often. He called the paramedics in her town, announced, “Get right over to 131 Third. Agnes McNeil is dying.” Kirk recalled, laughing: “Agnes never forgave me.” In 1990, a twelve-year-old weighed his options. “I’ve got to take that course in Digital Logic. I mean, I’ve got ‘The Cartoon Guide to the Computer,’ but it just doesn’t go far enough.” In Art History, the professor tried to explain the concept “dynamic.” He put “static” on the board and asked for the opposite. “Clear,” said the student. The professor, laughing, “I bet you’re a broadcasting major.” The analyst’s systems expertise could shed light on the problem. “If you ask me, …” But she was rudely interrupted: “And we’re not asking you. This is a business decision.” Memo to deciders: Systems analysis matters. Six-year-old Ezra, after his bath, said, “Let’s talk about that show.” His mother said, “OK. You go first?” He said, “Let’s talk about it like you and Dad do: Each one butt in.” The figure was in a crouch, had a sack and striped pants. She told her little nephew she was drawing a thief. He had a suggestion to complete the drawing. “They usually wear a cap.” The psychologist suggested a game. The child was to give her a test and grade her.  Afterwards, the psychologist, laughing, asked, “Why did I get a C- in gym?”  “You didn't have your shorts on.” She wasn’t trying to be funny when she told Justin, “Next week is Father’s Day. You have a lot of cards to get out.” All the men in Bonnie’s life had played their parts well. She had not been home more than two days when she called to say she LOVED the book I had pressed upon her. We had a great connection. And I don’t mean the phone line. It was his first go at producing a Fringe Festival play. His old pal Hawkeye enthusiastically painted scenery. Hawkeye was someone to rein in, not someone one had to prod: Best work ethic, best friend. Once when we were little, our mother was spitting mad at us. Eva said, “Well, you always wanted two little girls, and this is what they’re like.” Late in life, our mother remembered this, smiling. “What’s your biggest liability?” The job-seekers practiced their answers. Igor decided to say, “My heavy Russian accent.” When asked about her liability, Jane asked, “You mean my real one, or the one I’m using?” I went to Plum Island, just by myself, thinking about the countless times I was happy there with Herman. After he could no longer drive—Parkinson’s—we went often together. Everything has its silver lining. “There’s a good chance this will never make it back to Feagaville,” was Ellie’s mantra, paying by credit card in isolated corners of the world. Years later, Bob could make me laugh by saying that. The presence of a registered sex offender caused the school district to change its policy: Even kids who lived nearby could be bussed. Whatever happened to the buddy system? And walking fast past his house? Mid-1950s family dynamic:  Eva Casey: "I'm never changing my last name."  Alice Casey, her mother: "Don't worry, George. She'll change her mind when she grows up and falls in love."  George Casey: "Who's worried?" Just heard that Fr. Nick passed away at the priory in Albuquerque. He wrote me the absolute best recommendation letter a girl could ever want. Too late, I wonder: Did I ever tell him that? Lately, I’ve been putzing around in our garden. Some days we’re getting a pint of raspberries out of our patch. Herman’s harvesting tomatoes. Sometimes I just gaze on the garden in satisfaction, trowel in hand. When Grandpa was 55 he managed to land a job, after shaving ten years off his age. “Those ten years in Ora, Indiana didn’t count,” my father told me, laughing. Grandpa’s childhood on the farm. With Harry Burn’s unexpected and thrilling “aye” vote on August 18, 1920,Tennessee made history and became the 36th state to ratify. Half a century of suffragist struggle, and a note from Harry’s mother, triumphed. 13 stories by Eva Casey From George's overseas war diary, 1943: “Took Alice's picture down!  No mail from Alice for a month!” Many years later, George’s widow, Alice, read the diary for the first time, and blacked out those words. On their honeymoon in northern Wisconsin, my mother told me they had a drink with an army buddy, who said, “How about that old lady back in Somerset?” Dad replied, “She was no old lady.” When my father was on his deathbed, my mother, slightly jealous, started, "You know how your father always thought so much of his mother…" Dad roused himself to interject, "I did have a wonderful mother." Mona visited Alice in the hospital. They were both in their seventies. Alice described disturbing hallucinations she had been experiencing, brought on by her meds. Mona listened sympathetically. "Alice, some of those hallucinations are REAL." Marie pushed her aged mother’s wheelchair into the elevator already occupied by an ample nurse. Marie’s mother said, “One thing I’ve noticed about nurses is a lot of them are OBESE.” Marie flushed. They exited. Vocabulary: When I was a preschooler Dad said, in context, "Don’t boast." In a trice I learned the definition of the word and that it was undesirable behavior. I did not feel reprimanded, just informed. The extended family was laughing uproariously over the game when uncle Hugh, a school custodian, bestowed the prize on Jane and Jack, who had six little kids: An institutional-sized bag of Vomitis. More laughter. Billy tied a dead mouse to the light string in the guest’s bedroom. Note to 21st century readers: Back in the 20th we’d grope around in the center of a dark room for a string. Baby Garret’s uncle entered the room ranting verbally about the news. Garret’s grandmother admonished her son to watch his language in the presence of the baby. “He’s not even talking yet,” protested Mark. “He’s listening.” 1965. We were out in a rowboat. Pitch darkness suddenly fell. There was only one light in sight so we rowed for it. It was a campfire! "We haven’t seen a telephone in a week." Their father had a friend, Woggy Reusch, who ran a camp in Colorado. In her retirement, birding the Estes Park YMCA grounds, Eva emailed her sister an image of the Walter Reusch Memorial Conference building. A Bostonian was birding Colorado. He encountered friends who had moved away. He told them what he got. Bob turned to his wife and said “Isn’t it great to hear someone say ‘hawned lock’ again?” At 14 Ezra said, “I can’t WAIT to go to MIT.” At 18 he did not apply to any Institutes of Technology. He went to Dartmouth. Herman, regretful, lamented, “He could have been a nerd.”