5-21-99 Uni lesson

. .
.
I had to see the periodontist up in Lexington, so I drove to work even though it was a beautiful day. It was just a follow-up visit, and my mouth looks OK, so that part was good.

Since I had the car, I had my unicycle with me, and I went out on it for a lunchtime ride. I went all the way along the Newton side of the riverwalk from Bridge Street to where the new river path comes back to the sidewalk near the dam, got off and stretched out, and came back the same way. It's perhaps three quarters of a mile each way. The weather was perfect, I felt comfortable and steady riding, and lots of people smiled, called to friends “Look, here's a guy on a unicycle”, said “Good job!” or otherwise reacted.

So I guess it's time to talk about learning to ride a uni.

See, this is why you surf the web. You never know where you'll end up at the end of a click. You can be listening to Evaporation complain about the decline of customer service in the US, and two clicks later you're talking on a phone to the middle of the Mojave desert. Come to me expecting to get more about warbling verios, but no, you're putting on a pair of work gloves to take a unicycle lesson.

First, just to cover my ass a little, a caution: Don't attempt to learn to r;ide a unicycle from these directions. Find a qualified teacher or better instructions. Don't try unless you can tolerate falls on your hands and some barked shins.

OK. You never know who might find this and what they might do with it.

The first thing I noticed the first time I got on -- I mean, tried to get on -- a unicycle was, HEY! THIS THING DOESN'T HAVE ANY HANDLEBARS! WHAT DO I HOLD ON TO?

The problem was, I hadn't talked to anyone about learning to ride, hadn't been able to find any book, or anything. I was trying to find my way on my own. I didn't make much progress for a long time. For months I was saying “No, human beings just can't do this.” It turned out that there was very little anyone could tell me in words that helped; in the end, it was all a matter of practice.

The best way to start is with a friend on either side of you, with your hands on their shoulders and theirs on your shoulders. Start with the wheel backed up against a curb, big brick, or cinder block so it can't roll backwards, the pedals horizontal. Get on the seat (or get the seat between your legs), put one foot on the pedal closer to you, and step down on the pedal. This sort of carries the seat and you up and over the top. Step down on the ground with the other foot. Do that a few times to get the feel of it.

When I started I didn't know about chocking the wheel against a curb, and the uni went flying, chung! away behind me as soon as I stepped down on a pedal.After a while I learned to catch the other pedal with my other foot, but not before hitting my shin with that other pedal many times. It turned out that a knee pad (the kind basketball players sometimes wear) was more useful worn on the shin than on the knee.

If you've started with people holding you and the wheel chocked, after a while, put the other foot on the other pedal and try to keep the wheel under yourself while your friends steady you from side to side. Get them to walk forward slowly while you keep the wheel under yourself. Try to stay loose and relaxed. That's easier said than done when you're trying hard not to fall, but the tenser you are the longer it takes you to make an adjustment or move the other way. The next step is to have your spotters hold your arms farther and farther from the shoulders, so you get less and less support from them. After a while you can hold yourself up with a broomstick in each hand as you ride. It sounds like someone staggering along on crutches, but as you keep working at it you go farther and farther between jabs at the ground, and eventually you can balance. By now I wonder why it was hard at all.

Free mounting, getting started out in the open, without supporting yourself or the wheel on anything but the ground, is much harder than riding once you've started. Starting away from a support or away from a curb is much easier.

As soon as someone suggested the broomsticks to me I started to make progress. There were only two other things that my juggling teacher said that helped. Firstly, don't look down. Balancing is much easier if you're looking ahead and can see the horizon. Second, and it turned out to be even more important, “Sit your butt down on the damn unicycle.” Putting any more weight than you have to on the pedals is bad. Putting as much weight as you can on the seat is good.

OK, fans, think it over, and if you want I'll send you the address of the Unicycling Society of America.