Surf's Up!

Last night I had a dream
I was giving a sponge bath to Annette Funicello
She was bronze and perfect
beneath her industrial strength polka dot bikini
Her hair
squid ink black and impossibly thick
was all swept up, casual like
into a white motel towel
Her legs
freshly shaved and waxed
stretched the length
of the massage-type table
She lifted her head
looked up at me
and said
“You know, Stevie, you’re the most,
you really ride that pipeline wave”
Slowly, she began to turn
like a carnival hot-dog on the white vinyl mat
her exposed stomach sticking
ever-so-slightly
to the vanilla-scented surface
From beneath the table
she produced a five gallon jar of mayonnaise
“Let me show you what I really like,"
she said
Then I woke up
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