Surf's Up! Last night I had a dream I was giving a sponge bath to Annette Funicello She was bronze and perfect beneath her industrial strength polka dot bikini Her hair squid ink black and impossibly thick was all swept up, casual like into a white motel towel Her legs freshly shaved and waxed stretched the length of the massage-type table She lifted her head looked up at me and said “You know, Stevie, you’re the most, you really ride that pipeline wave” Slowly, she began to turn like a carnival hot-dog on the white vinyl mat her exposed stomach sticking ever-so-slightly to the vanilla-scented surface From beneath the table she produced a five gallon jar of mayonnaise “Let me show you what I really like," she said Then I woke up ----

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