Nautical Man (or, T.M.B. Pinafore)

to the tune* of "Particle Man" (They Might Be Giants, _Flood_)


Nautical Man, Nautical Man,
Smartest lad in the Royal "N".
What's he like?
A pining tenor,
Nautical Man.
Is he a slave or an Englishman?
Can he dance a hornpipe or lead the band?
Will Josephine marry a foremast hand?
Nobody knows,
Nautical Man.

Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Triangle Man hates Nautical Man.
They have a fight:
Man overboard,
Triangle Man.

Admiral Man, Admiral Man,
Ego the size of the universe man;
Usually kind to smaller man,
Admiral Man.
Office boy turned K.C.B.,
Knew better than to go to sea,
So now he rules the Queen's Na-vee,
Powerful man, 
Admiral Man.

Captain Man, Captain Man
Exchanged at birth with Nautical Man,
Offering up his daughter's hand,
Captain Man.
Com-for-tably in the bourgeoisie,
Hardly ever gets sick at sea;
But then he uses that big, big D --
Berated man, Captain Man.

Nautical Man, Nautical Man
Suddenly finds he's Captain Man;
Blissful refrains,
For he remains
An Englishman!

-- Erica Schultz
   muffin@world.std.com
   5 November 2001


* The tune:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/2289/zparticle.mid

The real lyrics:
http://gunther.simplenet.com/v/data/particle.htm

Plot summary of _H.M.S. Pinafore_:
http://diamond.boisestate.edu/gas/pinafore/html/plot_summary.html